Hoax dictionary entries about legendary obscene beasts

kamenbz

Meet the Grass Mud Horse (草泥马), a rare animal that has become phenomenally popular in the past month.

The animal, whose name sounds like a common curse (操你妈), is the most famous of the Ten Legendary Beasts of Baidu, non-existent animals that were inserted into Baidu's user-editable encyclopedia. Although the majority are juvenile puns for curse words or genitalia, the collective editing process did manage to come up with a few clever descriptions.

Here are the rest:

The Dafei Chicken (达菲鸡): A strange bird that likes exercise. (打飞机, slang for "masturbate")
The Chrysanthemum Silkworm (菊花蚕): A silkwork that feeds on chrysanthemum flowers instead of mulberry leaves. (菊花残, an insult that means something like "bugger")
The Midge Butterfly (雅蠛蝶): An exceedingly rare creature only found on the Tibetan plateau. (From やめて, Japanese for "stop it"; via imported porn)
The Weishen Whale (尾申鲸): During his maritime adventures, Zheng He discovered this creature was hunted as the raw materials for women's underpants. (卫生巾, "sanitary napkin")
The Jiba Cat (吉跋猫): A creature that lives in a dark, damp environment and competes for food with the White Tiger. According to historical records, the Jiba Cat flourished during the reign of the Zhengde Emperor. (鸡巴毛, slang for "pubic hair")
The Qianlie Crab (潜烈蟹): A legendary crab that once stopped up the Grand Canal. (From 前列腺, "prostate")
The Crying Paddy Goose (吟稻雁): In the Kangxi era, a large goose dove into a certain field, damaging it and causing the local farmers to come down with a strange sickness. (From 阴道炎, "vaginitis")
The Franco-Croatian Squid (法克鱿, scientific name "Vai-te Foder"): A fierce species of squid originally inhabiting Europe and the Americas. (From the English-language curse "Fuck you")
The Puremen (鹑鸽): A rare bird found only in Sichuan and Hunan; formerly found in the area that is now the Republic of Yemen. (From 春哥, a nickname used for Super Girl winner Li Yuchun among fans who claim, whether sincerely or ironically, that she's a man. Their catchphrase is 春哥纯爷们, "Brother Chun is all man", which is where Yemen comes in)
And finally, in a nod to the editors of the encyclopedia, there's the Stork-Cat Ape (鹳狸猿) that inhabits Baidu County in Lanzhou. This entry pokes fun at Baidu administrators (管理员) who continually spar with the online pranksters and who ultimately deleted all of these entries.

Although the Ten Legendary Beasts have been wiped from Baidu, the Grass Mud Horse lives on in Photoshopped images (the cute cousin to the Alpaca turned up at the CCTV fire) and videos.

joe#123

27617842

可可

星猪

linjinghui

还是刚回国。。。。

[m_困惑]