让你笑掉牙的★★三字经(英文版)

三字经（英文版）英文是美国的一位自称是汉语学家翻译的，后面的英译中为二次直译文。

人之初， At the beginning of life,*在人生的一开始
性本善。 *** is good. *性是好的
性相近， Basically, *** is nearly all the same in nature.*基本上性的大体是相近的
习相远。 But it depends on how the way you do it.*但这取决于你用什么方式去做
苟不教， If you do not practice all the time,*如果你不经常地练习它
性乃迁。 *** will leave you. *性将离你远去
教之道， During the way of learning it,*在你学习性的过程中
贵以专。 the successful key is to . *成功的关键
make love with only one person 是只和一个人做爱
昔孟母， Previously, a great mother named Mrs. Mon *以前有位著名的孟女士
择邻处。 chose her neighbour to *选择邻居的准则
avoid bad *** influence. 是避开性习惯不良的人。
子不学，She taught her son that"if you doesn't study hard,*她说孩子若不努力学习
断机杼。 your dick will become useless and broken."*你们的那个就会没用且断掉
窦燕山， A famous person called Dou,*还有个很著名的人叫“窦”
有义方。 owned a very effective exciting medicine.*有一个很有效的能兴奋的药方
教五子， All his five sons took it, *他的5个儿子都得到了这个药方
名俱扬。 then their ***ual ability became well-known.*他们的性能力远近闻名
养不教， If anyone who have children *如果你有孩子
but they don't know how to do it, 但他们不懂得如何做爱的话
父之过。 it is all the father's fault. *这完全是父亲的错误
教不严， If they have lots of problems in doing it, *如果他们做得不是很好
师之惰。 their teacher must be too lazy *那一定是他们的老师太懒了
in telling them the details on ***. 没有详细有告知他们做爱的细节
子不学， If you refuse to learn ***, *如果你拒绝学习性
非所宜。 that should be a big mistake. *那将是个大大的错误
幼不学， If you don't learn it in childhood, *如果你在孩童时期没有学的话
老何为。 you will lose your ability when aged.*随着年龄的增长你将会丧失性能力
玉不琢， If you don't exercise your dick, *如果你不去锻炼自己的那个玩意
不成器。 it won't become hard and strong. *它就不会变硬变大
人不学， People who don't learn ***,*不去学习性的人
不知义。 their life will become meaningless. *他们的生活将变得毫无意义

据说英文版本的金庸著作会笑掉大牙，大家可以自己去查找。